Temper, temper....

I wish I could say that I never lose my temper, but that would be a lie. Don't get me wrong, things are a lot better now. But sometimes my frustrations boil over and I snap. I yell and stomp around. I slam cabinet  doors and say how I hate my life or I'm loosing my mind. Then I hate myself for throwing such an unnecessary temper tantrum, and usually end up eating my feelings. That was this morning. I had a vision for how I wanted the day to go and it wasn't working out so lost my cool. I don't hate my life, actually it's quite the opposite, but I need to notice that I'm starting to get cranky and do something positive to correct it before I lose my temper. Tomorrow I'm going to crack open a parenting book I've been meaning to read, in hopes of finding some good ideas. Maybe some meditating or painting could help?

I have struggled with depression and emotional outbursts for a long time, starting back in junior high. Including a on again off again relationship with anti depressants. When we decided to have another baby I went off them and the withdrawal period was complete torture. I never want to go through that again so that is a huge motivator behind why I want to get healthy and active. Good nutritious food and exercise are the best anti depressants available. I still notice how the weather affects my mood and I have to be more proactive on the gloomy days to keep the negativity at bay. This is nothing like how I felt before, like in junior high and high school, but I REFUSE to go back to that place. I read somewhere that "you're only one workout away form a good mood", and I truly believe that.

My outburst this morning aside, I have been doing pretty good. Over Memorial day weekend we had family in town and it was so nice to get to share some of this experience with them. We even got in some yoga and some trail walking while the weather was cooperating.

Then last week, when the weather was cruddy, I would force myself to get going, then later I would crash and allow myself to take a nap. I was feeling kinda off but still made myself run two miles most days so it wasn't a total wash. I noticed my left knee was hurting early on in the week, but pushed through for a few more days before deciding I had to take a couple days off to let it rest.

I started this week out with 3 miles and a short hike and felt FANTASTIC!! Now I plan on making up for the crappy day I had today by improving on my 3 mile time each day this week and taking full advantage of the amazing weather forecast!

First time running 3 miles.... Like a BOSS!

Now I find myself thinking, I just might be able to run a half marathon someday.......hmmm.....